‘Sharma ji, laddu kab khila rahe ho?’
‘Are Gupta ji, bitiya to kaafi badi ho gayi hai, jaldi se ek acha ladka dhoondna padega!’
‘Jain Sahab, beti ke haath peele kab karwa rahe ho?’
These are just some of the common dialogues with which most of us have grown up. Didn’t we? It always seems like neighbours and relatives are more eager and enthusiastic to tie our wedding knots as early as possible. They constantly try to brainwash our minds. Is it their genuine concern towards us or it’s just a matter of getting one more chance to attend a grand party or function! I wonder if it’s really their concern, then where does this vanishes off when it comes to our education, our career? Where does this disappear post marriage? Why the entire focus, the limelight is on marriage? Are we born and brought up to just get married? Is it the only ambition or the final destination??
No, there is a hell lot more beyond this. Girls are a lot more than being merely a marriage material.
Many girls are still forced to marriage without their assent. They simply don’t have a say in choosing their own life partners. In many villages, there is still a prevalence of child marriages and honour killings. Girls are married at a very tender age when they should be going to school. You can’t call it forced also as they don’t resist, as they don’t know the very meaning of the word ‘Marriage’ itself, it’s all a game before them(gudde guddiyon ka khel) and they are least aware of this menace. At places, girls are ill-treated, subjected to death if they cross the so called sacred boundary of caste or religion, to choose their life partners.
Why our girls have to undergo all this? Why she doesn’t have a right in taking her own decisions? If we are looking forward for a better place to live in, better environment to survive in, then let the girls live their own way, let them be free to make apt choices and uninterrupted decisions.
Such a relatable post, there is so much to do even after marriage, a girl has her aspirations and has all the right to fulfill them.
Glad that you can relate with it Jhilmil. Yes, there is no limitations or boundaries to define our fly.
True! Some changes are badly needed in the society.
Yes dear, let’s bring that change together.
Wish parents realize this and support daughters and daughters-in-law to pursue career. Apt title.
Thanks dear for your valuable comments. Being parents now, let’s change this mindset so that future generations doesn’t suffer any more.
Tough questions, Rashmi. Why some parents prefer spending money on wedding rather than education is a difficult question. I feel its all in the age old mindset which needs to be changed.
Agree Disha, it’s a tough question. But someone has to raise the voice at some point of time. After all, it’s our society and we are responsible for it.
Yes, I agree with you. First step should be educating people at root level through TV, radios, social media, street plays. Anything that works best. If a single family’s mindset changes, they can influence many around them.
An entire generation of people need to really change their thought process to change this state.
Agreed. Let’s be that generation!
We need more such posts so that the parents read and understand it, very nicely written
Thanks for the read dear!
I have been lucky that my father and my family focuses more on career than marriage. I realised this late in my life.
Lucky indeed Pratikshya! But all don’t fall into the same category and that’s the tragedy. We, as a society are still lagging behind in such fronts.
So true Rashmi. I wish more and more parents would realise this.
Yes, do hope the same Neha. At least we can break the monotony and show a road map to the future generations.
Very true. Apt title. There is so much life post marriage that women are conditioned to ignore.
Yes, marriage is only a part of life, not the destination of life, that once reached, no need to go anywhere else.
“I wonder if it’s really their concern, then where does this vanishes off when it comes to our education, our career? Where does this disappear post marriage? ” – This is so true. I had never thought of this!
I’m glad the whole girl’s only ambition is marriage attitude is slowly changing.
I’ve seen girls desperate to make a career or those who want something different from life are nailed down to accept marriage as the foremost Priority. Hope we contribute to make a change in this attitude with a rapid pace.
Yes, Rashmi. Marriage has to be someone one really wants … I also hate Indian attitude of marry boys who are rebellious. The whole “shadi ke baad thik ho jayega” attitude …
Marriage is not a solution to problems. Both the man and woman must in a place where they are ready and truly want to make commitment.
Very true